Yes love hurts, but it doesn’t have to forever.
A rebound sex is often a quick fix that’ll make you feel sexy or worthwhile, temporarily. Once that high wears off, you may just feel nothing but guilt, according to Rapini.
When you make impulsive decisions, like jumping head first into another relationship, it means you’re trying to find a way to avoid feeling hurt. “Acknowledge the hurt and understand that being a responsible person means dealing with it. Be willing to go into the pain.”
In reality, breakups are often the shattering preamble to a new-and-improved life (one that can eventually include a relationship with someone you’re more compatible with).
But in those first few brutal days and weeks, you’ve got every right to feel inconsolable. In time, though, you can move onward and upward. Here are the 3 powerful ways of avoiding a rebound sex.
1. Rebuild your self-esteem
If your partner was the one who initiated the break-up, it’s common to start picking apart your physical appearance and personality traits, questioning what areas you’re lacking in that would cause someone to fall out of love with you. “Focus on what you really value in yourself and what you brought to the relationship, rather than what qualities you don’t possess,” says Winch.
“Write a list and think of traits that speak to your character, emotional strengths, skill sets, abilities, and any other quality that has value in a relationship.” If you’re having a hard time coming up with ideas, tap your closest friends and family, who would jump at the chance to share all the reasons they feel fortunate to have you in their lives.
2. List their negative qualities and be determined to find a better replacement
This is one of the powerful ways of avoiding a rebound sex after a breakup. Determine to find a better partner who would likely be a better replacement.
Compile a list of all the ways this person wasn’t good for you. Think of every annoying quality they possessed as well as all the compromises you had to make in the relationship.
Keep that list in strategic places such as; on bathroom door, on the mirror, on your phone etc. So you can refer back to it whenever you start thinking they were so perfect. It’s natural to idealize both the person and the relationship.
3. Hold on to things that help you feel grounded
“When we meet someone new and start spending a lot of time with them, some of our favorite activities can easily slip away,” Brigham says.
Forthwith that the relationship is over, it’s time for you to start practicing daily yoga, bike riding, board gaming, whatever it was that made you happy that you might have put on the shelf while you were together.
Albeit, you have the right to feel broken, but don’t let yourself wallow in it for long. There’s time for everything. A time to feel broken and a time to get fixed. Rebound sex is surely not a way out. You are responsible for the decisions you make. It would be pathetic getting hurt twice.